For my Global Media Literacy class at WMU, I was tasked to take a 24-hour “Media Fast” as part of the class. That meant I had no internet, no TV, no phones, no streaming, and no music for a full 24 hour period. Books and newspapers were OK, though, so there was some mercy in the whole thing.
So, you might be wondering: How did I hold up in this harrowing experience of losing my millennial-ness? Here’s an annotated, minute-by-minute rundown on what happened.
Robert Tomlinson’s 2018 Media Fast, Annotated
11:59 p.m., Friday, January 19 – Finish watching Stephen Colbert riff on “military-style baby gear” with Rob Riggle, and get ready for bed. Phone and computer are turned off. Mom has obliged with my Media Fast obligations, and has turned the living room TV off. Bless her.
12:20 to 9:35 a.m., Saturday, January 20 – Sleep. Sleep as long as I can. My strategy for these first hours of the media fast: cut down on the number of hours you’re awake.
9:50 a.m. – Breakfast of pancakes and bacon. A little dark, since the pan was a bit too hot, but I managed to eat most of it. Pawned off the rest to dad. Parents still help out the cause by keeping the TV off for at least the first hour after I wake up. Bless them.
10:15 a.m. – Shower. Refrain from singing, like I usually do, since it’s too quiet, with the TV being off and all.
10:30 a.m. – Comb hair, brush teeth, the whole nine yards. Head up to bedroom to clean room, like I told parents I’d do today. Say that I’ve started cleaning my room, but instead, read the first two sections of Fire and Fury, and a People interview with Hoda Kotb and Savannah Guthrie instead.
11:30 a.m. – Actually get started with cleaning room. Take a break about 15 minutes in for a…let’s call it a bathroom break.
11:55 a.m. – Resume cleaning room. Find gray basketball shorts I was looking for on Tuesday for gym class. Toss old Spanish homework from community college, and other old papers. Mostly from community college. I mean, what’s Biology gonna matter to me down the line, right?
12:20 p.m. – Per advice from friend (passed along by mom), think, “Hey, I should write an annotated list of what I did during my media fast?” and do it.
12:30 p.m. – Resume cleaning room. Find old Breakfast Club kinda-sorta-fan-fiction I made in my community college Creative Writing class. Think about posting it on blog in due time. Parents leave to go to funeral for church friend. I have the house to myself.
12:35 p.m. – Again, while cleaning, find old Basketball/Volleyball officiating quiz from class of the same name. Remember how much of a joke that class was (sample questions in pic to left), and yet, was taken as credit when transferring to WMU. Giggle to self.
12:38 p.m. – Find textbook for said class. Save it for later to possibly sell online.
12:55 p.m. – First rash bag filled up. Take out to garbage.
12:58 p.m. – Debate whether or not to get lunch; write in notebook about said debate instead. Grab second trash bag and continue cleaning room.
1:10 p.m. – Find old Steam Controller that’s gone unused for a couple of years. Wonder if Dolphin Emulator can finally handle it. Become sad that I have to wait until tomorrow to try.
1:13 p.m. – Finally hang empty hangers that were left over from apartment day.s Realize that putting them in center of the closet may not be the best decision. Do so anyway.
1:27 p.m. – Find first two personal cell phones (pic on right, first one on right). Remember how absolutely useful they were then and how absolutely crappy they are now. 
1:30 p.m. – Take out second bag of trash. Consider room cleaning pretty much done. Get slightly assaulted by melting snow off rooftop in process.
1:32 p.m. – Debate about lunch again. This time, it’s about whether or not to use Arby’s coupons, or using the Free Extra Value Meal coupon from McDonald’s that you found while cleaning. Does it even work since the overhaul of the menu?
1:35 p.m. – Only one way to find out. I decide to give it a shot and see what happens. At least I can get a 10-piece McNugget and be OK with it, no matter if I get it for free or not.
1:36 p.m. – Realize it’s 44 degrees outside and I don’t need to wear a coat. A jacket would probably suffice.
1:40 p.m. – Quickly turn off radio in car in accordance with media fast. Immediately think of the scenario from “Car Radio” by Twenty-One Pilots. And then I remember that Twenty-One Pilots is overplayed and annoying as heck, and un-think about it.
1:44 p.m. – Get to McDonald’s. Find out that yes, the coupon does indeed work. Get 10-piece McNuggets, fries and Sprite, and head home.
1:54 p.m. – Get home and grab the mail. All it is is a Southern Living magazine that mom probably doesn’t want, and the Saturday newspaper. Read paper during lunch.
1:59 p.m. – Read article on new Three Rivers Superintendent Rob Kuhlman. Read quote about having to “improve things that need improving.” Think to self, “How about start with actually building a relationship with the students first?” Because, let’s face it, the last one sure as hell didn’t.
2:05 p.m. – Suggest that *somebody* do an article about what students think about the whole Jean Logan situation. It would show that students pretty much hated her guts, and are probably glad that she’s gone.
2:06 p.m. – Realize that, after writing that last statement, there are less than 10 hours left in the Media Fast. Wow.
2:11 p.m. – Look at Harbor Freight ad in newspaper. Realize they have O’Reilly Auto Parts listed in the wrong spot on their mini-map. It’s where Dollar General should be. Sigh at the inaccuracy and move on.
2:17 p.m. – Finish lunch and head back upstairs to do more reading.
2:21 p.m. – Absolutely NAIL a tissue toss into the trash can seven feet away. Fist pump to self.
2:22 p.m. – Read description on back of Joan Rivers’ novel Murder at the Academy Awards. I laugh at the line “[Main character] Max goes undercover inside the pricey rehab clinic, Wonders, where her list of suspicious players expands faster than the Jolie-Pitt family.” Yes, I am laughing at a joke that is straight out of 2009.
2:40 p.m. – Roll eyes and chuckle at Billy Bush cameo in first chapter of said book.
3:20 p.m. – Finish reading first two chapters of book. Think about what to do next. No time for a one-person Monopoly game with me being all three players. So, what else to do?
3:21 p.m. – Continue reading book.
3:43 p.m. – Finish Chapter 3. Consider taking a nap.
3:45 p.m. – Take nap.
4:15 p.m. – Wake up from nap. Think that, eh, another 10 minutes should do. Go back to nap.
4:25 p.m. – Wake up again. Think, “What the hell else am I doing today?” Go back to nap.
4:35 p.m. – Wake up again. I have work in 25 minutes. No. More. Napping.
4:43 p.m. – After sitting in bed in complete silence, get ready and changed for work.
4:47 p.m. – Get swig of mouthwash, because sleep breath plus McNugget breath is no bueno.
4:49 p.m. – Leave for 5 p.m. work shift.
4:50 p.m. – Almost bang your head on the door when you leave, as parents come back from funeral.
4:55 p.m. – Arrive at work to find a bowl of Country Crock in the stationery section. Oh joy.
9:26 p.m. – Head home from work. Only a few hours to go.
9:34 p.m. – Mom checks room to see how I did with my time earlier today. She likes it. That’s all that matters.
9:40 p.m. – Talk to parents about the funeral and how it went. The TV has been off ever since I got home.
9:52 p.m. – Dad gets extra silly. Of course he is. Good gracious.
10:00 p.m. – Have dinner: Chicken strips and Checkers fries. Mmmmmmm.
10:07 p.m. – Mom and dad’s world got smaller during the funeral, they tell me. (Mom told me to put this in here.)
10:13 p.m. – Dad starts talking about “crunchy bedsheets.” Good to know, dad. Good to know.
10:27 p.m. – Read first two sections of Fire and Fury that you read this morning to mom and dad. Because, what else are we supposed to do? It’s too late to be playing board games, and we’re all tired.
10:54 p.m. – Just over an hour to go! Come on! Go quicker, dammit!
10:55 p.m. – Go upstairs and read the next chapter or so of Fire and Fury. Parents basically kick you out of the living room so they can watch news.
10:59 p.m. – LAST HOUR. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
11:35 p.m. – Dad comes in, compliments me on my room, goes to bed. 24 minutes to go.
11:51 p.m. – Complete third section of F+F. 8 minutes to go. What to do? No time to finish another chapter in time for the end of the fast…don’t wan’t to fire up the computer too early…might as well just sit and wait…
11:54 p.m. – Go downstairs and get a drink of water, being careful to avoid mom starting a show on the DVR.
11:59 p.m. – Turn on computer and phone at the same time in front of mom, ceremoniously. Mom asks, “Did it really kill you, son?” Who can say, mom? Who can say?
12:01 a.m., Sunday, January 21 – Realize I have eight whole pages of notes from the media fast. Think about whether or not that’s a good thing or a bad thing.